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| All i ever want to do is sleep now a days. Yet, when i want to sleep, i cant sleep, still i remain exhausted.
So the doctor gives me these pills, "Here these aught to knock you out." OK!
Fourteen hours of sleep later...... fuck!! I missed class!! and i still feel tired... I just cant win.
Oh the brighter side of things, i can walk again!!! Special Kudos to all my dear buddies who helped me out.
I really did hate being soo.... incompetent. When you have to rely on someone else to help with everything... it really blows, I enjoy my independence, being waited on is frustraiting. I couldn't even take a shower in my own apartment by myself. But those days are over and soon... i shall invest in some steel toe'd reinforced combat boots to prevent any further damage, and maximize butt-kickage!!! muhahaha!!!!
---- i think i have bad hearing. too many concerts, maybe playing the sterio too loud in the car. I have alot of softspoken friends and im always having to ask them to repeat things. Its kind of embaressing. Who'd have thought our parents were right when they told us to turn the volume down on the headset. -----
I keep having weird dreams about kids i used to goto school with back in corpus christi. It makes me want to contact some of them..... but im not sure how i would go about it. Or even if they'd want to hear from me. I was a bit of an outcast when i was younger. Oh wait a second... i still am! :-p
*yawn* ...... bah.... here we go again *yawn* its nap time for Ed~!!!!
Heterosexuals - Boring
Homosexual - Gay
Bisexual - Horny
Pansexual - WTF? really... the 'New Bisexual'
Since we can make things up now, can i be a Somni-sexual? mmm Sleeeep...
~ Only in Dreams will this world Satisfy my Curiousity ~
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| " Living so free is a tragedy
When you can't be what you want to be
Living so free is a tragedy
When you can't see what you need to see"
--- Powerman 5000
Sooo... I'm tipsy..... Drinking Scotch. Thanks Mom.
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| Iv been going through my entries. Iv had this Blog a long time. There one thing i always repeat. I always say ill blog more. hmm. "I kissed a girl and i liked it. The taste of her Cherry Chapstick." ~Kate Perry I really like that song. Its on repeat. Very catchy. So shall i update my life to you? First College. Im starting my second semsester Scuba Diving --- my P.E. Course. Sounds like fun right?
State And Local Goverment ---- had the same teacher for USGOV hes hysterical. I always thought these two courses would be the worst but, this guy makes you want to show up EARLY!
Sociology --- Just something im interetsed in. I heard the teacher was good.
Algebra --- yeah i didnt do so great on the math part of the ACCUPLACER soo they have me in this remidial class. Its not so bad, doesnt count as a credit, but counts to my GPA.
US HISTORY 1 --- I dropped this one last semester. I shoudlnt have skipped it so much, and i didnt pay attention when i was there. The teacher was a bore, and you coudlnt understand his accent.
Thats all im taking this semester. Wish me luck? I still havent figured out my Major. Theres a few courses in Egyptology at Univeristy College London that iv been looking at. I might go spend a year over there on this program. It wont be for at least a year or two though. Kilgore doesnt offer some of the prerequists i need to get in.I might stay here for the year, then transfer to Univeristy of Houston. Iv also been looking at Colorado State Univeristy, my mom is thinking about getting a place in Fort Collins, i wouldnt mind being in the mountains. Its the next best thing to being on the coast. I was looking at the courses offerd at RICE today. Shit if i could get in, that would be ideal. They have alot to offer in several things im interested in. I just want to learn. Ancient cultures, sociology, psychology, some philoshopy, and then a nice looking film program. At the rate im going ill be in school till im 40 lol. Someone threw an Idea at me the other day. I like photograpghy and film. SCUBA. Travel. Exotic Animals. I wonder if i could get a job doing something for National Geographic or something one day? All goals start with an Idea, I may have mine. ~RaD~ | | |
| One day i will make this more frequent. though with no one to read it anymore i almost wonder whats the point? What is Hell anyways? Could things get much worse than this? I've watched my world fall away around me. Picking up the pieces they crumble to dust in my hand. Have i deserved this? Was it something I did? Something I didn't do? Cleaned up. Did what I was "supposed to do" Got on my feet, stood up only to find a vast emptiness. Shadows of what things once were so far away. Changed. Or have they? The lectures implying ill never be good enough. Who do I turn to when theres no one left? Everything will be okay. Fire years later, feels worse. It is getting harder to breathe. The air is thinner, the walls closer, further to fall. Out of my rut, I expected sweet elation, the rising Sun, freedom. Mountains. Breathtakingly beautiful,yet Cold and dangerous. Is hope just a lie, a feeling to cover survival instrincts, force us to keep moving. Seeking a purpose. Reason. An answer, to a question long forgotten. Its not Depression. Its a Quest. A Divine Comedy. ~RaD~ | | |
| Rain Drops on Roses and Mittens on Kittens,
Warm Paper packages Tied up with Strings,
These are a few of my Favorite Things.
When the Dog Bites, and the Bee Stings,
When I'm Feeling Sad,
I simply Remember my Favorite Things,
And then I don't feed so Bad.
*hmmms the tune cause she doest know the rest of the words*
Months Sober... 4. aint that dandy? Quitting isn't hard when you don't have people pushing you into it. I just kinda forgot I smoked pot. Then one day it dawned on me, wow i haven't toked in like a month,. *shrugs* okay. Will i ever smoke again? probably. Will it ever be as frequent? No. When? Today, Tomorrow, 3 years from now I don't know. Never leaves too many restrictions and a temptation to break them. So go with the flow is the Route i choose.
I have two Extra Ozzfest Tickets. August 4, 2007. San Antonio. Free place to stay Friday and Saturday night. Anyone interested? Call me, email me. something.
~Peace
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